Day 26- multi tasking!!!

I've learned that I'm going to have to incorporate exercise throughout every opportunity I get at work instead of doing it after work since it was causing me not to sleep... My body was too warm and I was FAR to keyed up.... So I'm going to see how I do at this- along with two full body workouts during my four days off... I think that will more than help me build my muscles back up!!!

Day 25- revamping

... Does NOT mean I give up or start over on what is now a 100 day journey instead of 90 days (I like round numbers.....)!!!
The very fast lifts and excessive plank moves are starting to damage my shoulder that was just operated on about 9 weeks ago... So the surgeon has called a halt to the actual body revolution system. However, I'm continuing on with the now agreed upon weight training and cardio and NOT restarting the 100 days!! I've been blogging faithfully here and although I have to modify my workouts- there is no need for a do over.... Life happens!! So I will switch to slow jogging (no sprinting as it is too jarring) and will be doing weights and TRX bands with slower static moves!! I'll also be throwing some yoga and Pilates in there as I also need to work on stress levels.
I'm not going to let this discourage me!! The scale was down another 1/2 pound this week and I feel looser in my clothes.... So onwards I go!!

Day 24- bringing sexy back!! (again!!)

As you know from last night- my reasons why were very much faltering. Regardless of what I perceive as a failure on my part last evening, to be successful at something so me... I can't give up on myself or this program... So I had to do a lot of thinking this morning to refurbish my reasons why. I know what you may think in reading them- that perhaps they should be more health oriented... But for me- they are not, and that's just fine by me!! Different strokes for different folks!! Without further delay...

I want to be able to wear a pair of jeans that are NOT the ever so popular cop out stretch jeans. I want to fit into the real deal, instead.

I want to fit into my wedding nighty again and actually feel good on it.

I want to feel so good about my mud-section that I can readily feel good wearing some sexy shorts and a tailored sports bra for my workouts- for inspiration to stay that way!!

I want to have the energy I need to do all the things in my life that I want to- regardless of how hectic my life arrangement is.

I want to get some... Uh..bedroom photos taken like I've been intending to do for a few years now.

I want to be no more that 25 percent body fat.

I want to have my self esteem back. I want it back to the level that I believe I deserve equality in my relationships and demand that without apology and without being made to feel that this is unreasonable.

There you have it!!!

Day 23- reasons why...

So I mentioned in a much earlier post that i was struck pretty hard by Jillian's statement that if your reason why is solid- that the how would be easy... And if it isn't solid (or existent)- that the how would be unbearable. I'm only human and despite trying to stay staunch and strong in this endeavor.... My why was diminished greatly tonight and just the mere thought of facing the workout tomorrow seems both daunting and pointless. Nothing more to say today. It may not be positive... But it's real.

Day 22- sometimes a pic says it all!!

Day 21- beached whale...

Hmmmmm... I think I need to find a happy medium with the Sunday splurge meal that I talked about from my previous post!! I went from holding WAY back on it to where it was hardly a splurge at all.... But today I ate it with a vengeance, being how the amount wasn't horrendous- but most of it was fried... Oh my....smh. But at least I can say that I accomplished the whole get it out of my system concept!! Looking SOOOOO forward to going back to fruits, veggies, almond butter, and lean meats tomorrow!!! Amen!!!!

Day 20- need to push!!!

I find that I push myself during my workouts- cause I'm never one to waste my time. If I'm going to do it- then I should do it!! Right? Right!!!
But now I need to apply that same principle to my nutrition!! By giving in to bad eating, too many treats, fast food burgers, etc etc.... I am wasting time!!!! It's pretty much undoing what my workouts are accomplishing!! I'll end up plateaued if I don't watch it!! I allow myself one treat meal with dessert once a week- but I think I've reformed even THAT down to being not much of a treat meal at all... So that sets me up for out of control cravings the rest of the week!! Time to let myself have that treat- and then start flying straight the whole rest of the week....

Day 19- one day late but...

One day late in posting because I collapsed last night!! Still- I have to say, I felt like a bad ass last night!! Instead of feeling so beat down on 12 hour work/commute days when I do my workouts- I'm going to try to look at it this way.... Most people would NOT be nearly as dedicated!! I'm a bad ass!! Indeed!!!

Day 18- resentment!!

I'm trying to stay positive, given the improvements I've seen in my body- but days like today make it hard... So I've failed to make today positive.... Sigh. I had to be four people at work today and it was an extra busy 12 hour shift than usual- by far!! Then coming home to work out after that REALLY was upsetting... Nonetheless, I did it!! A commitment is a commitment no matter how crazy my life is and is going to stay!! I gave it everything I has tonight- and can at least go to sleep knowing I got it done!!!

Day 17- giving it my all!!

Sometimes I can get frustrated because I have to modify so much in each video...sometimes due to my shoulder surgery, and other times just because I'm just not there yet!! I'm keeping my chin up though because I can feel the differences in my body and the nighty fit!!! (see last post)

Day 16- Bringing sexy back!!

Out of sheer curiosity And maybe just a stitch of hope... As well as tiring of wearing the same nighty anytime I choose to do so... I ventured into my nearly forgotten sexy nighty drawer!! Low and behold- one of my favorite red and black numbers actually fits!!! And I looked hotter than hell- if I do say so myself!! Wanted SOOOO much to impress the hubby with it but he's in his office having his nightly time to himself. I thought about interrupting it but alas- I decided that would either be a very sexy time, or an unwelcomed intrusion... And didn't want to take the chance of my IT FITS AND I'M HOT high falling due simply to bad timing. It fits though!! And THAT is what matters!! Even if no one but me knows- it fits!!!!

Day 15- get comfortable...

...with being uncomfortable!! Wow.. Jumping into the first video of week three really pounds this point home!! I knew it would be a change, but yikes!! I did it though!! SNO!!! I won't give up... That's just not me! I'm doing this alone. I have no one beside me to feed off of their energy. I have no one to impress as I do the moves. I have no one cheering me on... It's just me and the people in the tv. With other programs, that has been a bummer, but doable. THIS program, though, has found that fact a hard one to swallow for me. Still- it is what it is. I can use that as a reason to stop- or keep going!! The moves are hard- not just because of being a bit over eight weeks shoulder post-op... They just ARE very uncomfortable for me to do. And I'm not comfortable not being able to do what even the easiest modifier in the video is doing.... But I can't let any of that matter... I just can't!! Uncomfortable? Yes!! Impossible?? No way!!!! If my shoulder won't let me move on to the 5-6 videos in two weeks- then ill extend the 3-4 by a week or two until my shoulder can move on... But that WON'T stop me from completing this program!! No how... No way!!!!

Day 14- drowning!!

... In my workout pants!! The pants I've been wearing to hit my workouts are now getting silly baggy in the waist and not far behind everywhere else!! Yes yes yes!!! This is HARD- but it's working!!!!! Today makes 2 weeks down!!!

Day 13- The palsy??!!

Today was supposed to be my off day from working out- despite a 1/2 hour commute to work, a 12 hour shift, and another 1 1/4 hour commute home... So you'd think I would take it as easy as I could through the day... Only doing what I have to... Right??! Nope!! Even when I'm busy and tired- this program and the results I'm getting from it already are keeping me motivated and on the move!! Up and dancing around in the infirmary... Doing chair squats during charting... You name it!! The inmates probably think I have the palsy!!! Ha!! Calories dying a slow but sure death... Indeed!!

Day 12- mind over matter...

Sometimes this concept comes harder to handle than others. I had my normally hectic brutal Friday at work and felt like I sacrificed my own time, compassion and efforts for others that only slightly grudgingly did the same for me... So by the time I finally could get to my workout- I felt I had nothing left.
But I made a promise to myself so I pushed play and made it happen!! It wasn't my best but at least I know I got it done and felt I made some strides with it!! Tomorrow is a very long day coming up- but is at least my day off from working out!! Woo hoo!!

Day 11- make it or break it time!!

I came home tired after a 12 hour shift and commute to and from work- but I came home with a can do attitude!! I don't HAVE to work out... I GET to!! I DO have a choice... I could always have kicked back and relaxed... But each day counts and I can't just keep starting tomorrow... Carpe diem!! I'm continuing to feel changes in my body each day!!!! THAT- and the steamy reactions my newly refound sexy self esteem are eliciting from the Husband make it all worth it!!

Day 10- horse blinders needed..

Today I kicked @ss in just my second time thru cardio 1!! (I train for my 10k every other cardio workout) I'm struggling, though, to see me as I am and as I'm becoming rather than seeing all if my short comings and the slow and tortuous path of gaining so much weight back during my whole shoulder injury ordeal... And even some of my failures from before that.
I know I deserve to be happy. I deserve to be fit and to feel good about myself in doing so regardless of anything in the past.
I've already identified the thing holding me back. It's too personal to discuss specifics here... But suffice it to say that harder than these workouts, even, will be finding a way past shame... To somehow shake it off and move on.
At first- I was led by another's actions to feel punished beyond anything that fit the crime, so to speak- and felt like a very undeserving outcast. This affected me greatly and affected my drive and determination to get for myself the fitness and other things I deserve.
But the clear fact is- that individual has done nothing but apologize for the actions and attitudes that made me feel that way and has praised me left and right for over half of a year. That means that this is all on me now. So along with tackling these workouts and eating right- i'm going to really concentrate on all the good in me instead of the past!! So here's to new beginnings!! Cheers!!

Day 9- I have an @ss!!!!

I'm a curvy girl- even at my ideal weight, and I love that!! I was losing so much muscle tone through my inactivity over the past months that my @ss was becoming flat!! Yuck!! No butt, no boobs, no service!!! Ha!! But now I have one of my best assets back!! Wink!! I'm gonna look killer in a pair of jeans when this is done!! Or out of them.... ;)

Day 8- Small Victories!

Every victory counts!!  I've learned that in just the 8 days thus far in this program.  Today I had the pleasure of joining 2 good friends for a movie date! That presented a potention problem....at least for someone as ritualistic as myself!  I usually get a box of reeces pieces and polish off the entire king size box (3 portions, according to the box) whenever I go to the show.  I went to the counter and with one angel of each kind on either shoulder...I went with the dude in red and bought me my usual box!  But knowing how much work I'm putting in...I just couldn't sabatoge my own efforts that way!!  I'm not a complete angel (those of you that know me are laughing...I know...I get it)...so yes, I did eat SOME..but only about 2/3 of ONE serving!!  Victory is mine!!!!!  Very proud of myself!!  And very thankful for the company of two awesome nurses!!

Day 7- Being a rebel...as usual..

Alright! So beyond changing my off day to Saturdays, unlike the end of the workout week as suggested...I needed to make one other minor change to this program.  I made a goal to run in my first 10 K in February...so I had to find a way to work in training for that too- on top of this program and working 3 twelve hour shifts a week and living in 2 different locations and working in between those 2 ....whew!!

I decided that I would make the second cardio day of each week a jogging day instead!! This way- I can shake up the cardio a bit as well as meet my other goal that I set!  I haven't jogged in a long time due to lots of shoulder pain...waiting for the stinking surgeon to actually DO the surgery...and then post-op recovery- but today I was able to get an official start on working towards that goal! 1K!! I figure each Sunday I will increase what I've done by another K..and then start working in varying inclines before the big day!

Day 6- Off day!! Or was it???

My name is Mary and I'm an addict! There...I've said it!  Saturdays are my off days for this program due to the commuting I do many saturdays back to Flagstaff and due to wanting to work out on Sundays with the Hubby.  So....I didn't do a video!! Yeah for me for following directions! (I don't do that often...so a round of applause would be appropriate here...)
However....as I sat there on my bed with my night night shorts on and a tank top with no bra (hey...let's be honest here..right?)...I got a wild hair up my *ss and decided to take a short walk! Before I could reason myself out of it with this day off non-sense...I through my shoes on, grabbed my dog zapping alarm, and hit the road dressed in nothing but my bed time clothes (well..my pre-bed time clothes! ha!)!!  It was only a short walk of 20 minutes- but what amazes me is that after a long day at work, and my 3rd and final shift of the week at that, this program has given me the energy and positive intention mind set enough to get up and get something done...even when I didn't have to!! Go me!!!

Day 5- has NOT been pretty....

I guess it would be pretty peachy if I could go through every day of this 90 journey blogging like Polyanna...but taht wouldn't be real...and I'm not just on here to journal for myself...I'm here to paint a realistic picture of just what this 90 days looked like for me! 
What IS real, is that some days are going to be packed full of energy, happiness, and go get em'!! While other days are going to be full of F*ck my life!!! Today was a F*ck my life type of day!!!
Unlike the first 4 days- I did NOT want to do my workout today....not in the least.  I kicked and screamed all the way to the DVD player! No...I don't mean this as a cute saying...I mean I literally went kicking and screaming!  I drove home from work with every reason in my head to justify why it was bull sh*t that I should have to do this tonight...but to my credit, I got er' done!! 
Bet ya wanna hear about how much better I felt afterwords...right???? Sorry..not so.  However, one phone call from a certain hunky irishman, and I was back to my usual spicy self!!! Thank you sweets!!

Day 4- worth fighting for!!!

Well today was my first day doing this program after a 1/2 hour commute to work...a 12 hour shift...then a 1/2 hour commute back to where I stay on work nights...setting up the weights and equipment in a separate room (no space in my room...so I have to set it up and take it down somewhere else in that home each tim)....but I did it!! NO EXCUSES!! I'm sick and tired of letting circumstances become valid excuses in my mind....so today, I put an end to that!!

Day 3 and I'm on fire!

.... And so are my muscles!! But that's a VERY good thing!!  I'm feeling extremely strong and my energy and focus are through the roof!! I modify the moves as I need to while still giving 100 percent and that way of doing things is working!!  My husband is as supportive as ever and that is making ALL the difference.... Indeed!!!

Day 2- "if your WHY is solid, the HOW comes easy"

Jillian said something to that effect during today's workout and it rang a bell in me... It's her version of ya gotta want it bad enough!! Well I do!! I had a tough evening last night having to face the day one photo I posted here and just how out of shape I felt during that first video... But I sucked it up today because the fact is- as long as I keep going, I'll be closer to my goal each day!! 125 here I come!!

Day 1- No better time than now!!!

Day one is in the books- as I sit and type this in a sweaty mess!!  I guess to start with, I should introduce myself!! My name is Mary and I am an overly talkative genuine hearted rebel nurse from AZ!  I’m 41 and have been living in a sea of “tomorrow’s”…ya know?  I do not want to sit idly while my life just passes me by.  I wish I could say my motives were all health related…but they aren’t.  My pic I attached to the bottom of this post explaines my motives quite clearly!! ha!!

So take this journey with me! No excuses now!! I’m status post left shoulder surgery about 6 weeks ago and my life is crazy as hell! I work 12 hour shifts and I live between 2 houses in two separate towns while I work in a town in between those 2!! Time to go get it!!! Beginning stats: wt 146/38% body fat.