Day 10- horse blinders needed..

Today I kicked @ss in just my second time thru cardio 1!! (I train for my 10k every other cardio workout) I'm struggling, though, to see me as I am and as I'm becoming rather than seeing all if my short comings and the slow and tortuous path of gaining so much weight back during my whole shoulder injury ordeal... And even some of my failures from before that.
I know I deserve to be happy. I deserve to be fit and to feel good about myself in doing so regardless of anything in the past.
I've already identified the thing holding me back. It's too personal to discuss specifics here... But suffice it to say that harder than these workouts, even, will be finding a way past shame... To somehow shake it off and move on.
At first- I was led by another's actions to feel punished beyond anything that fit the crime, so to speak- and felt like a very undeserving outcast. This affected me greatly and affected my drive and determination to get for myself the fitness and other things I deserve.
But the clear fact is- that individual has done nothing but apologize for the actions and attitudes that made me feel that way and has praised me left and right for over half of a year. That means that this is all on me now. So along with tackling these workouts and eating right- i'm going to really concentrate on all the good in me instead of the past!! So here's to new beginnings!! Cheers!!